There are some ways in which doing this journey of mamahood solo feels much easier. I don’t have to negotiate my parenting style and choices with anyone. My baby gets ALL of me. All my presence and devotion. All my love and care. The bond that continues to develop between us is total and complete. What a blessing.
And I can feel where it’s more challenging. For example I just took my first solo shower in over two months. We bathe together regularly so I’m getting clean, but there’s often no one else here that could watch her while I shower. It’s the non-stopness that feels intense at times. All the responsibility falling on my shoulders. Yes, I have amazing friends that I can call upon, but it’s not the same as a second parent who’s here on a regular consistent basis also tending to the needs of this baby and our family. And apparently showering is not on the top of my list when I do have friends over, lol!
I imagine this non-stop care for my baby is what allows for such a deep bond to develop between us. And I swear, like many mamas, I’ve grown extra limbs at this point. Mastering one handed cooking, laundry and household tasks. I could use a dog to keep the floor cleaner though!
In recognizing the full-on care that my baby requires and that I absolutely want to give her, I make a point to meditate during her morning nap and to make sure I am tending to myself so that I can be fully present with her. I do things with her that also nourish me, like dancing and singing with her, meditating while walking, and playing in the water with her. Bath and swim time now serve multiple purposes!
"In recognizing the full-on care that my baby requires and that I absolutely want to give her, I make a point to meditate during her morning nap and to make sure I am tending to myself so that I can be fully present with her."
It’s easy to fantasize in moments that it would be easier with a partner, but I don’t know that reality. Instead what I do know is I’ve found my rhythm with my baby and I feel so grateful I have the ability to resource so that she does get all of me over and over again.
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Photo @melrosecreates Melanie Rose Prince